9:34 Sep 23rd, 2014 | 181,925 notes

rattlecat:

el-dispute:

let’s watch a scary movie together and get so freaked out that the only option is to have sex 

Please don’t do this. My wife and I did this once and we eventually had to stop because she kept freaking out at random shadows in the bedroom.

2:48 Sep 5th, 2014 | 0 notes

It will never cease to amaze me that I can go to bed tipsy, have sex, and be completely sober and awake when done. It’s like some weird magic trick.

2:27 Sep 3rd, 2014 | 1 note

So last night before bed Shrine and I were playing Secret of Mana together and I decided to record us via Audacity.

I woke up the next morning, having completely forgotten to stop the recording.

I recorded our entire Chun-Li/Oil Man sex spree we had last night.

and it didn’t save because the minute i tried to stop it the whole fucking program crashed.

4:24 Sep 1st, 2014 | 0 notes

Okay so like one or two hours before bed we keep going on about how we’re both so horny and everything. Decide on a roleplay to do in bed, the works.

Get to bed?

Rattles falls asleep in like not even ten minutes. Full on fucking snoring and everything but not before teasing me a bit therefore leaving me wound up and awake. So I take care of that and nudge him to ask him what fucking time he wants up in the morning.

"What time do you want up?"

"Reblogged."

Are you for real right now? 

Then ten minutes later he rolls over and tells me how classy stickers are. Specifically bullet hole stickers. He is fucking dead asleep.

Yeah. Three shots for you next time, Rattles. Not four.

1:51 Sep 1st, 2014 | 0 notes

I really need to stop ripping out the crotches of my boxers.

6:15 Aug 31st, 2014 | 0 notes

Raine: BTW
Raine: DID YOU NOTICE
Raine: THAT JOSH OPENED OUR DOOR
Raine: go to zipperpulls if you did not

Rattlecat: …

3:40 Aug 31st, 2014 | 0 notes

Okay so, go to bed, have sex. Midway through going down on Rattles the cat scratches at the door to be let out.

There are two routes this usually takes

1) If no one is close to climax, I go and open the damn door for her.

2) If someone is close to climax then she has to fuckin’ wait.

I opt for option 2.

A few minutes later I hear the door open.

Our roommate, hearing the scratching came and opened the door to let the cat out. I caught a glimpse of him. IDK if he saw anything but Rattles was moaning so I’m pretty sure he heard that.

We finished up but let me tell you something, nothing knocks you out of a roleplay scene faster than an unwanted intrusion like that. 

Now, Rattles is asleep and I need to piss. 

To go take a piss I have to walk by his room.

I don’t want to do that on the off chance he brings it up. *patiently waits for his bedroom light to go out*

Haha! The lights just went out. Perfect.

1:21 Aug 31st, 2014 | 0 notes

Youe ver get so drunk your vagina gets numb cuz mine di though that might be from 3 nights of sex heeeellll yeah

1:16 Aug 31st, 2014 | 0 notes

Look over at wife’s PC. Sees her very clearly on a dildo vibrator website. Don’t even bat an eyelash.

1:35 Aug 25th, 2014 | 0 notes

Why is it that two of the most vanilla characters we have end up having the most exhausting sex? I could sleep again right now and the worst part?

My character is like “Weshoulddothatagaintonight”

And I’m just sitting here going “I am too tired for this shit.”