You know what sucks?

1:07 Apr 16th, 2014 | 0 notes

Getting your wife on the edge of orgasm like 3 times, and having to stop because of hand cramps, bad positions…

and the fact your roommate had to go next to your door to the closet to get toilet paper and if anybody in that room made a single noise let alone an orgasm he’d notice immediately.

10:29 Mar 24th, 2014 | 2 notes

Nubbins

Shrine at 4-6 AM in the morning post-sex.

2:00 Mar 23rd, 2014 | 0 notes

  • Sigma: wait you recorded which part?
  • Rattlecat Mandelbrott: The nubbins laughing fit, Sigma.
  • Rattlecat Mandelbrott: I didnt really have any HANDS FREE FOR THE OTHER PART
  • Sigma: I'M SORRY IT'S HARD TO TELL WITH YOU TWO
  • Rattlecat Mandelbrott: ...Seems legit.

Eventful

1:47 Mar 23rd, 2014 | 5 notes

We hadn’t had sex in quite some time since the last post due to my wife having abdominal pains and me just never being in the mood. As a result, last night was possibly the most active and hilarious sex we’ve had in a while.

  • Our cat has taken possession of one of the new pillows we purchased for our bed. My wife was using it to scream into and our cat decided she was having none of that. Cue me trying oh so hard, not to break character and die laughing over the dirty looks our cat is giving our wife, who then proceeds to take the pillow from my wife and go to sleep.
  • Somehow, both of us seemed to think we were completely off our time of the month. In fact my wife was on her last day or post-last day. So I had a bit of a surprise when I was fingering her and just as the sun’s coming up I notice my hands are covered in blood. ..No, we didn’t stop, are you crazy?
  • We use a Nox from Bad Dragon, and while we’re convinced it’s a little too big for us, we were more entertained by the fact that the textures on the dick were a lot more pleasurable for my wife than expected. But she doesn’t like the pointy head. And I quote, “Dem nubbins are pleasurable, but gotta be something done ‘bout dat pointy head, good sir.”
  • My wife then proceeded to have a 10 minute laughing fit over the term “Nubbins”, to which we both devolved into a series of internet memes at 6 AM in the morning after having two hours of sex. I will upload it momentarily. Yes I recorded it.

Yes, this is normal.

2:43 Feb 5th, 2014 | 0 notes

Something nice about our roleplays in bed: "Do I want to go to bed as a dude or a chick tonight?"

1:09 Jan 31st, 2014 | 0 notes

News Update:

We no longer have a wingman.

But that’s okay.

There’s still sex.

10:02 Jan 22nd, 2014 | 0 notes

Shrine: OKAY SO
Shrine: TMI TIME
Shrine: Shrine just masturbated in the shower so hard she almost passed out and had to come in here and lay in the floor until the room stopped spinning.
Sigma:
Sigma: so it was good?

Shrine: Yes.
Shrine: Also I’m pretty sure
Shrine: that’s what it feels like
Shrine: when you die.
Shrine: Just sayin
Shrine: MY BRAIN AND EYES WERE THROBBING AND SUDDENLY I COULD HEAR EVERYTHING LIKE TINY NOISES AND I KEPT SEEING FLASHING COLORS
Shrine: So yeah
Shrine: don’t do that
Shrine: I’ve proven it’s a bad idea in the name of science.

8:59 Dec 11th, 2013 | 1 note

Guess what came in the mail today courtesy of our Wingman? He also got himself a dragoness. So yup.

Woke up at 5:00AM

3:56 Dec 6th, 2013 | 0 notes

Because the bed was too hot. Then, the wing man rolls over and goes “Watch out for [incoherent muttering]”.

Then Rattles goes “This call sucks because….”

And then the wingman started like smacking his lips like he was eating something, snoring, and muttering in tongues.

So I got up.

They can have their weird sleep induced conversations together. I have business in Skyrim.

The Wingman Does A Thing

8:42 Nov 20th, 2013 | 2 notes

  • Miche: *blush*
  • Miche: shit...................
  • Miche: Well...
  • Shrine: ?
  • Miche: I originally planned this to arrive in time.
  • Miche: But it looks like it won't.
  • Miche: -delays- are a dick :(
  • Miche: So...
  • Miche: Remember last week, when I was talking about the Bad Dragon stuff?
  • Rattlecat Mandelbrott: mhm
  • Miche: That was all a ploy, to get you to tell me what specs you wanted for your Nox.
  • Miche: I don't know if you guys knew it or not.
  • Miche: But that was what it was.
  • Rattlecat Mandelbrott: And if it would have arrived, and if you would have been here
  • Rattlecat Mandelbrott: I would have beaten you with it.
  • Miche: -.-
  • Miche: HAHAH
  • Rattlecat Mandelbrott: And tell me you -didn't- order it
  • Rattlecat Mandelbrott: Because we had specific colors for it
  • Miche: o.0
  • Miche: umm...
  • Miche: I may have....did...
  • Rattlecat Mandelbrott: That was the whole point of getting them. Because they're based off characters :P
  • Miche: I was hoping that wasn't the case......
  • Miche: Because I considered it.....very strongly....
  • Rattlecat Mandelbrott: That's almost always the case when it comes to sex stuff.
  • Miche: -.-
  • Miche: FUCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKK
  • Miche: well...................now......
  • Rattlecat Mandelbrott: This is why you don't do surprise gifts.
  • Miche: I THOUGHT ABOUT IT
  • Miche: BUT
  • Miche: SLKDJHAFSLDJKF
  • Miche: ASDLKFJASLDKFJLASJKDLFKJALSDJKFA
  • Miche: LASJKDFLKJASDF
  • Miche: I
  • Miche: WANTED
  • Miche: GOD DAMNIT
  • Rattlecat Mandelbrott: Because if it ain't to our specifications we normally never get it.
  • Rattlecat Mandelbrott: XD
  • Rattlecat Mandelbrott: You poor thing.
  • Miche: I WAS HOPING IT WOULDN'T BE THE CASE
  • Miche: BECAUSE I CONSIDERED IT
  • Miche: AND I THOUGHT
  • Miche: "Well it woudl be the safest bet to get it green and brown"
  • Rattlecat Mandelbrott: PFFHAHAHAHAHAH
  • Miche: ?
  • Shrine: *lays in floor*
  • Rattlecat Mandelbrott: Miche
  • Rattlecat Mandelbrott: How is it
  • Miche: .............
  • Miche: ?
  • Rattlecat Mandelbrott: You manage to do both the right and the wrong thing
  • Rattlecat Mandelbrott: At the exact same time
  • Miche: ...............................
  • Miche: ?
  • Rattlecat Mandelbrott: Moko is Green/brown
  • Rattlecat Mandelbrott: Nox was supposed to be blues.
  • Rattlecat Mandelbrott: Because you essentially just made Nox Ganon's dick.
  • Miche: BUT...BUT...
  • Miche: THAT'S NOT EVEN WHAT I DID....
  • Miche: I FEEL SO BADD......
  • Rattlecat Mandelbrott: AND WHERE
  • Rattlecat Mandelbrott: DO YOU GET GREEN AND BROWN
  • Miche: I ALMOST MADE IT GREEN AND BROWN
  • Rattlecat Mandelbrott: IS IT BECAUSE OF LEWIS
  • Shrine: Lewis
  • Shrine: honey
  • Miche: BECAUSE OF LEWIS
  • Rattlecat Mandelbrott: SRDHJOIGDJIODGILJFHJILH
  • Rattlecat Mandelbrott: GFD
  • Miche: ASDLIFJALSDKJFAS
  • Miche: EDFLASJDFLKJASD
  • Miche: FALSDJKF
  • Rattlecat Mandelbrott: I DONT
  • Miche: I ALMOST
  • Rattlecat Mandelbrott: UNDERSTAND
  • Miche: DID THAT
  • Rattlecat Mandelbrott: HOW YOU DO THIS
  • Miche: I ALMOST
  • Rattlecat Mandelbrott: MEN ARE MAGICAL
  • Miche: I CONSIDERD IT
  • Miche: AND I ALMOST DID
  • Miche: BUT
  • Miche: BUT
  • Miche: [BUYT
  • Miche: BUIT
  • Miche: ]SALDKJFAK,SJHDFA
  • Miche: I FIGURED
  • Rattlecat Mandelbrott: The green and brown only works with paisley.
  • Rattlecat Mandelbrott: Is it paisley?
  • Miche: WHAT YOU PROBABLY WOULD MOST WANT
  • Shrine: [muffled Let's Misbehave plays in the distance]
  • Miche: WAS THE NORMALY COLORS
  • Miche: ASLKDJFLASDJKF'
  • Miche: I'M SOOOO SORORRYYYYY
  • Miche: MY GOD I'M SDOFJAS
  • Miche: DOFA';SDKFL;KJASDF
  • Rattlecat Mandelbrott: I'm sororry too.
  • Miche: SOPRRRRRYUYYY
  • Rattlecat Mandelbrott: What did we learn today, class?
  • Miche: but...but
  • Miche: but...
  • Miche: but...
  • Miche: hold oin\
  • Miche: hold on
  • Miche: I
  • Miche: have
  • Shrine: Hold oin
  • Miche: a redemption...
  • Shrine: oin
  • Miche: to play...
  • Shrine: oin oin oin
  • Miche: I have a redemption.......
  • Rattlecat Mandelbrott: [8:37:26 PM] Rattlecat Mandelbrott: Ladies and gentlemen.
  • Rattlecat Mandelbrott: I just thought you should know.
  • Rattlecat Mandelbrott: Miche is adorable as piss.
  • Rattlecat Mandelbrott: At making mistakes.
  • Miche: :(
  • Rattlecat Mandelbrott: That is all.
  • Miche: IT'S NOT MY FAULT
  • Miche: WELL
  • Miche: IT IS
  • Rattlecat Mandelbrott: YES, YES IT IS
  • Miche: I DID IT BECAUSE I LOVE YOU
  • Miche: BECAUSE I WANTED IT TO BE A SURPRISE
  • Miche: A LOVELY
  • Miche: PLEASANT
  • Miche: SURPRISE
  • Rattlecat Mandelbrott: Well it was indeed a surprise, that's for sure.
  • Shrine: You know
  • Shrine: Romeo and Juilliet starts with that premise
  • Shrine: and six people ended up dead
  • Miche: *facepalm*
  • Shrine: by the end of the story
  • Shrine: XDDD
  • Miche: SKLDDIFHJALSDJKHFA
  • Shrine: *ROLLS ON FLOOR*
  • Miche: TYHAT DOESN'T HELP[PPPPPASDFASJDF;LSKADF
  • Shrine: Meanwhile
  • Shrine: Miche is singing
  • Miche: "*cries*
  • Shrine: swedish metal
  • Shrine: to the chat
  • Shrine: Miche: SKLDDIFHJALSDJKHFA
  • Rattlecat Mandelbrott: Dear god did you try.
  • Miche: III...
  • Miche: I...
  • Miche: I WANNAH DIEEEEEE
  • Miche: (not really)
  • Miche: (i'm actually hysterically laughing)
  • Rattlecat Mandelbrott: I just imagine Miche sitting in his little room at his little chair with his head in his hands just going OH NOOOOOOWHHHHHHY while blushing
  • Miche: I WANTED YOU GUYS TO GET A SURPRISE
  • Rattlecat Mandelbrott: Like he does all the time
  • Miche: IIIIII KNNNNNNOOOWWWWWWW
  • Shrine: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=itvJybdcYbI
  • Miche: I'M ACTUALLY HALF NAKKKEEEDDD
  • Shrine: Here you go
  • Miche: THAT'S EXCATLY WHAT I'M LIKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
  • Miche: I JUST WANNNNNTTTTEEDDDD IT TOO BEE A PLEASANNT SUPPRRISSSEEE
  • Miche: BUT I GET HEE MANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN
  • Miche: *cry*
  • Miche