Rattles: I don’t think you want me to fuck you with thimbles.
Rattles: That just sounds like a bad idea.
Rattles: I MEAN
Rattles: UNLESS YOU WANT TO BE FUCKED BY A ROBOT
WHY DON’T YOU LOOK INTO MY EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE?
My fiance and I are pretty much convinced we can’t look at each other when we have sex. We bust out laughing every time. I have no idea why but we start laughing so hard that it totally derails the mood.
Speaking Of Magic...
Raine: we are weird?
The Rattlecat: I'm a girl that likes to date guys so I'm hetero but I identify as a guy that likes to date guys so I'm a homo but I have a wife so I'm homo but I identify as a guy so I'm hetero and you're a girl who doesn't seem to like guys so you're homo but you're classified as straight but you have a wife.
The Rattlecat: Who identifies as a guy. So you must be straight.
The Rattlecat: 8|
Raine: Well it's like
Raine: I AM SO SEXUALLY ATTRACTED TO MEN
Raine: But their personalities and thought patterns and whatnot
Raine: are too much work
Raine: too much work for the D
The Rattlecat: I'm sexually attracted to men, it's their perso---EXACTLY.
Raine: I am a lazy fuck
The Rattlecat: BE ONE OF THOSE GUYS THAT JUST GIVES ME THE D.
Raine: I AM HOMOSEXUAL
The Rattlecat: IN FACT, LITERALLY GIVE IT TO ME.
The Rattlecat: I WANT ONE.
Raine: I AM LAZY
The Rattlecat: ewrk;lfhjokef
Raine: THAT'S WHAT IT COMES DOWN TO
The Rattlecat: And I am....
The Rattlecat: Hm.
The Rattlecat: Well
The Rattlecat: I'm lazy too.
The Rattlecat: But I'm also the selfish fuck that expects you to wait until I decide Im not lazy
The Rattlecat: So I CAN fuck you
The Rattlecat: Like I said.
The Rattlecat: We're weird.
The Rattlecat: And that's going on Tumblr.
Raine: hey man I don't give a fuck
Raine: you can fit two hands in me
Raine: I think that's better than the D honestly
Raine: AH SEX LIFE
Raine: that should go on the sex blog
The Rattlecat: BUT IT WOULDNT BE
The Rattlecat: IF WE HAD A D THE SIZE OF TWO HANDS
When I say this particular piece is TMI, don’t say I didn’t warn you if you were to continue.
So last night I had a seizure that deserves to be recorded in the ‘history’ books of Rattlecat. Last night (or rather early this morning since it was turning daylight outside), I had an orgasm that…
I tend to be the subject of multiple orgasms, so flailing around on the bed like an enraged Magikarp in its attempt to Splash over Mount Everest in the middle of an orgasm makes it a bit difficult to tell whether its a Splash, or a solid attempt at evolving.